Photo: stony plain, alberta (my parent’s farm), december 2009
Yes, the other one. No, not Cancer. No, not the 4-letter delight. But that one; yes, the other one.
From the moment I found the lump in June, I knew I had a battle ahead. I held out hope and poured positive-energy into manifesting a good result, a less serious result. But, as I’ve mentioned before, the flicker of fear was present and I knew it was fuelled by something other than my own thoughts.
I’m working through all of this now. The emotions (a river of tears), the logistics (arranging a network of friends to drive to the many appointments) and the practical (cut my hair? save my hair for a wig? wear hats and scarves only?), and then there is what work-chemo balance might look like.
For now, it’s enough to know that the results of my Oncotype test came back with a high number. A high score is bad. A high score on this test means that the cancerous cells that were removed are over-achievers. The analysis of the cells scraped my chest say that I’m likely to have a recurrence, and that the cancer could spread quickly.
Fight fire with fire. I opted for an aggressive approach. 16-weeks of chemotherapy given in 2-week cycles. I begin next week, possibly on December 23rd.
I feel less able to find a silver lining right now, but I know I’ll get there. I mean, how many people can say they have a very good friend who also happens to be a wig artist (on top of being a jewellery-maker and metalworker). That seems like silver on more than one account.
4 thoughts on “the other C word…”
You needed to do all the research, Jodi. It well be harder and yet more necessary to remain strong and positive.
I’m going to do my best. Today feels better than the past two days… so, I’m coming to terms with this news.
All you can do is your best Jodi. I’m sure there will be many days when you are just simply tired of doing your best. That’s ok because on those days you are still doing your best. Stay strong even through all the fears. Love you.
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I will do my best and move through this with as much strength and grace I can muster. Even if the graceful part is just sleep. 🙂